Surviving the Holidays When You’re Already Running on Empty

The holidays are supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” but for many people, this season brings stress, sadness, overwhelm, financial pressure, and old emotional wounds bubbling to the surface.If you’re already carrying a heavy load — parenting, caregiving, working long hours, managing mental health, or simply trying to keep your head above water, the holidays can feel less like joy and more like survival.

If that’s you, breathe. You are not alone.There is nothing wrong with you.And there are ways to make this season gentler.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Slow All the Way Down

Not everything needs to happen this year.Not every invitation must be accepted.Not every tradition needs to continue.

Your nervous system is allowed to set the pace.

If slowing down looks like staying home, choosing one event instead of six, buying fewer gifts, or opting for quiet moments over chaotic gatherings — that is wisdom, not weakness.Your capacity matters.

2. Name What You’re Actually Feeling

Holidays bring up emotions we often push aside during the year, grief, loneliness, resentment, guilt, pressure, exhaustion, even joy mixed with sadness. When surviving the holidays, give yourself a moment to ask:

• What am I honestly feeling right now?

• Where do I feel it in my body?

• What do I need? Rest? Support? Space? Connection?

Naming the feeling helps regulate the feeling. You can’t heal what you’re pretending not to feel.

3. Create Small, Nourishing Moments (Not Big “Fixes”)

You don’t need an expensive self-care routine to feel grounded.Tiny practices help your nervous system reset:

• Step outside for a 2-minute breathing break

• Drink water slowly and intentionally

• Stretch your shoulders, unclench your jaw

• Take a hot shower in silence

• Light a candle that makes you feel calm

• Put your hand on your heart and breathe deeply

• Sit in your car for one extra minute before going inside

Small moments build resilience.They remind your body that you are safe.

4. Set Soft Boundaries With People Who Drain You

Some family dynamics simply feel heavier during the holidays.A “soft boundary” doesn’t have to be confrontational. It can sound like:

• “I’m stepping away for a minute.”

• “I won’t be staying long today.”

• “I’m not talking about that topic this year.”

• “This is what I can do — and what I can’t.”

You are allowed to protect your peace. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to leave early. You’re allowed to choose peace over people-pleasing.

5. To Survive the Holidays Choose One Thing to Simplify

Holiday stress is usually a pile of small things, not one big thing.Choose one place to make life easier:

• Simplify meals

• Simplify gifts

• Simplify travel

• Simplify expectations

• Simplify traditions

• Simplify social plans

If it doesn’t add to your well-being, it’s okay to let it go this year.

6. Anchor Yourself to What Actually Matters

Holidays are about presence, not perfection.Connection, not performance.Moments, not production.

Ask yourself:

“What do I want to feel when this season is over?”

Warmth? Peace? Rest? Gratitude? Stability? Let your answer guide your choices.

7. Remember That Healing Isn’t Paused During the Holidays

Your trauma responses may feel louder this time of year, especially if holidays used to be stressful, unpredictable, or painful when you were growing up.

But healing doesn’t disappear in December.Every mindful breath, every boundary, every moment of compassion toward yourself is part of your healing journey.

You are doing better than you think.

A Final Gentle Reminder

No matter how this holiday season unfolds, you deserve:

• Peace

• Rest

• Support

• Joy in small doses

• Breaks without guilt

• Space to feel your feelings

• Softness toward yourself

Be kind to the version of you who is still learning how to show up in the world with tenderness.

And if you need support navigating stress, anxiety, overwhelm, or emotional exhaustion, I am here. You can always reach out or send your questions anonymously.

Wishing you a softer, more grounded holiday season.— Restoration & Peace Counseling